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Did You Know? (12/10)

by Rich Stamper
 
Did you know how to tell if you are growing older? Here is the list:

  • Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
  • The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
  • You feel like the morning after and you don't drink.
  • Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
  • Your children begin to look middle aged.
  • You finally reach to the top of the ladder & find it leaning against the wrong wall.
  • Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today".
  • You turn out the lights for economic reason rather than romantic reasons.
  • You sit in a rocking chair & can't get it going.
  • Your knees buckle & your belt won't.
  • Your back goes out more often than you do.
  • Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
  • The little old gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak & they stay there.
  • You have too much room in the house & not enough in the medicine cabinet.
  • You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.

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