by Rich Stamper
Did you know how to tell if you are growing older? Here is the list:
- Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
- You feel like the morning after and you don't drink.
- Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
- Your children begin to look middle aged.
- You finally reach to the top of the ladder & find it leaning against the wrong wall.
- Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today".
- You turn out the lights for economic reason rather than romantic reasons.
- You sit in a rocking chair & can't get it going.
- Your knees buckle & your belt won't.
- Your back goes out more often than you do.
- Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
- The little old gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
- You sink your teeth into a steak & they stay there.
- You have too much room in the house & not enough in the medicine cabinet.
- You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
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